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12-12-24 10:53 PM
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Xeogaming Forums - Sim-Battle Arena - Bendy and Deadly | |
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Phoenixocracy

The one true Xeodent








Since: 01-08-10
From: Xeomerica

Since last post: 1717 days
Last activity: 1717 days
Posted on 09-09-10 07:16 PM Link | Quote
In this simbattle, Vulkar and I will not be using magic of any kind, just the weapons that we have. He will be using a lightsaber, and I will be using a bendy straw. The victor should be obvious.

Me.


BJ was a adult of 18, and he was living life to the fullest in the grocery store. One more idiot in front of him, and he would be at the head of the line. This month, he was sure to win the lottery.

While waiting impatiently in line, BJ distracted himself by looking around, sipping lightly on the Dr. Pepper that he shouldn't be drinking. A few aisles over, a lady was arguing that her coupon was good until next year, regardless of the fact that the cashier noticed she had penciled in over the original date.

If he was lucky, they would break out into an epic duel. Yeah, that would be sweet.
Lord Vulkas Mormonus

Vile
High Xeodent of Xeomerica.








Since: 10-29-04
From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way

Since last post: 115 days
Last activity: 115 days
Posted on 09-09-10 10:19 PM Link | Quote
ooc:

Originally posted by title
Bendy and Deadly

That's what she said.

ic:

OB didn't make any sense. He was crazy when he should be sane, sane when he should be crazy. Good looking when alone, ugly when girls are around.

Besides that, he had a freaking lightsaber. And that didn't make any sense.

He spotted some young dude drinking a Dr. Pepper. Unacceptable. Worse still, with a straw.

A bendy straw.

This was unacceptable. Completely unacceptable.

He reached for his belt, and gripped the handle to his lightsaber. He strode forward. Not just walking with purpose, walking with malice. He was going to end this Dr. Pepper atrocity once and for all.

"Put down the Doctor Pepper!" he shouted. "We only accept Mr. Pibbs here!"

Cheap knockoffs for the win.


(Last edited by Vulkas Maximus on 09-09-10 10:19 PM)
Phoenixocracy

The one true Xeodent








Since: 01-08-10
From: Xeomerica

Since last post: 1717 days
Last activity: 1717 days
Posted on 09-10-10 02:37 PM Link | Quote
BJ was a bit more than thrown off by the man screaming at him. He didn't even know a Mr. Pibbs.

Even more absurd was the fact that the man seemed to be holding a lightsaber handle, presumably bought in the toy section.

Weirdo.

Focusing on the cashier struggling to price check a bag of kitty litter for the man in front of him, BJ tried to ignore the crazy man. Hopefully he went away.
Lord Vulkas Mormonus

Vile
High Xeodent of Xeomerica.








Since: 10-29-04
From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way

Since last post: 115 days
Last activity: 115 days
Posted on 09-10-10 03:33 PM Link | Quote
OB's neck tightened, his face controting into a wonderful expression of pain and anguish. He moved closer to the impotent youth, and snarled.

"Another alternative would be...PIBB XTRA!"

He grabbed a handful of chocolate candy from a nearby box in the aisle beside this pepper'd fool, and threw them at him, suddenly giggling incoherently.

BJ was being showered with Kisses!
Phoenixocracy

The one true Xeodent








Since: 01-08-10
From: Xeomerica

Since last post: 1717 days
Last activity: 1717 days
Posted on 09-10-10 03:43 PM Link | Quote
Dr. Pepper spilled upon the floor as BJ crushed the plastic bottle within his nerdy grip.

"No one, ever throws Kisses at me. Prepare yourself!" the teenager adult shouted in angst.

With a flourish of great skill, the crushed bottle was flung aside with earnest, and the straw of bendy skills was held within his hand, poised for combat.
Lord Vulkas Mormonus

Vile
High Xeodent of Xeomerica.








Since: 10-29-04
From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way

Since last post: 115 days
Last activity: 115 days
Posted on 09-10-10 05:56 PM Link | Quote
OB pressed a button, and his lightsaber activated, a brilliant peachpuff color, glowing in the already excessively bright grocerystore.

He threw another piece of candy at the teenager-like human, and snickered.

Because it was a Snickers bar.
Phoenixocracy

The one true Xeodent








Since: 01-08-10
From: Xeomerica

Since last post: 1717 days
Last activity: 1717 days
Posted on 09-10-10 06:07 PM Link | Quote
BJ caught the snicker bar in mid-air and shoved it into his mouth, wrapper and all.

Despite this, he had almost soiled himself when he realized the lightsaber was real. So, he ran backwards, out of the check out line and into the main aisle.
Lord Vulkas Mormonus

Vile
High Xeodent of Xeomerica.








Since: 10-29-04
From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way

Since last post: 115 days
Last activity: 115 days
Posted on 09-10-10 06:19 PM Link | Quote
OB could only laugh as BJ shoved the snickers bar in his mouth...it would take him at least a few seconds to swallow the bar, and given that it was in a wrapper, it would take him even longer to chew it enough so that he could swallow it without gagging.

There was no better feeling than having used a snickers bar for a force choke.

OB ran towards Pheonix, lightsaber trailing behind him.

"ARGH!" a customer shouted, and OB paused, glancing at the customer.

"Well dang."

He cut into her chip bag, and the chips poured onto the ground, only one chip still in the bag unspoiled.

Guess she COULD eat just one.
Phoenixocracy

The one true Xeodent








Since: 01-08-10
From: Xeomerica

Since last post: 1717 days
Last activity: 1717 days
Posted on 09-10-10 08:04 PM Link | Quote
This fight had to be ended before this psycho killed someone...like BJ.

Trying to confuse his opponent, BJ shouted out an pointed behind OB, yelling "Oh my gosh! Is that Ellen DeGeneres?!" Everyone loves Ellen, so the bait was bound to catch.

If OB did look, BJ would run up and try to stab the man with his bendy straw, right in the back. If not, well, he would look like a big idiot.
Lord Vulkas Mormonus

Vile
High Xeodent of Xeomerica.








Since: 10-29-04
From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way

Since last post: 115 days
Last activity: 115 days
Posted on 09-15-10 02:23 PM Link | Quote
OB paused in confusion. Was he pointing our one of those fancy shmancy pop stars kids loved so much these days? He couldn't resist...the curiosity pushed him...he had no choice...

He pointed his toe, and spun, like a ballerina in the battlefield, stretching his lightsaber beside him. He saw nobody behind him, but spinning like a ballerina, he came facing the awkward teenager standing only a few feet away, holding the bendy straw, ready to stab.

He unpointed his toe, and jumped just slightly in the air, landing with his legs crossed, and arms in front of him like a dancer.

"You got served!"
Phoenixocracy

The one true Xeodent








Since: 01-08-10
From: Xeomerica

Since last post: 1717 days
Last activity: 1717 days
Posted on 09-15-10 02:36 PM Link | Quote
BJ was amazed by this dancing Jedi's mad skillz, but he wasn't about to give up yet. Busting a beat, he moonwalked back a bit and spun 360 degrees on his toe.

Bringing his arms up, his left hand behind his head, BJ busted out the sprinkler.

It was on.
Lord Vulkas Mormonus

Vile
High Xeodent of Xeomerica.








Since: 10-29-04
From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way

Since last post: 115 days
Last activity: 115 days
Posted on 09-15-10 02:46 PM Link | Quote
"You got nothing, teenyagery!"

OB reached down, starting the lawnmower, and stood up, suddenly being pulled very quickly towards Phoenix for a few steps, before suddenly pausing and falling to the ground, and worming slwoly forward, lightsaber between his feet.

A shopping cart behind him very quickly lost its marbles.

Literally!
Phoenixocracy

The one true Xeodent








Since: 01-08-10
From: Xeomerica

Since last post: 1717 days
Last activity: 1717 days
Posted on 09-15-10 02:58 PM Link | Quote
"Psh, check these moves, trick."

BJ bit his lower lip is deep concentration before executing the move. The Cabbage Patch. With the grace of the Amish themselves, he spun around with the best of them, taking a few steps around OB until he was on the side of him.

Huge amounts of chest hair began to poke through his shirt as the manly powers of the farmer dance took hold of him. OB would have to do a lot better than the worm.
Lord Vulkas Mormonus

Vile
High Xeodent of Xeomerica.








Since: 10-29-04
From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way

Since last post: 115 days
Last activity: 115 days
Posted on 09-15-10 03:01 PM Link | Quote
The cabbage patch! Few moves were more powerful than that, but OB had just the one.

He lifted his left hand, the index finger pointing up.

If moved side to side, up and down, forward and backward.

In tempo.


(Last edited by Lord Vulkymort on 09-15-10 03:01 PM)
Phoenixocracy

The one true Xeodent








Since: 01-08-10
From: Xeomerica

Since last post: 1717 days
Last activity: 1717 days
Posted on 09-15-10 03:05 PM Link | Quote
Amazed by the sheer power of OB's dance move, something had to be done. He needed to raise his game.

Or the roof.

Lifting his hands up and lowering them back down, all while slightly leaning back with an absurd look upon his face, BJ kept tempo with OB. But he was speeding it up.
Lord Vulkas Mormonus

Vile
High Xeodent of Xeomerica.








Since: 10-29-04
From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way

Since last post: 115 days
Last activity: 115 days
Posted on 09-15-10 03:12 PM Link | Quote
"You got nothin'!"

OB cast his fishing line at the teenager, and started reeling.

The lightsaber line of death!

"Oh my gosh they're break dance fighting!" muttered a nearby customer.
Phoenixocracy

The one true Xeodent








Since: 01-08-10
From: Xeomerica

Since last post: 1717 days
Last activity: 1717 days
Posted on 09-15-10 03:19 PM Link | Quote
BJ jerked forward, breaking his concentration as OB reeled him in!

Needing a defense, the teenager had just the thing in mind. Turning around, BJ crouched down, moving his hips from side to side while moving his fists up and down.

He was skiing away.
Lord Vulkas Mormonus

Vile
High Xeodent of Xeomerica.








Since: 10-29-04
From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way

Since last post: 115 days
Last activity: 115 days
Posted on 09-15-10 03:24 PM Link | Quote
He couldn't escape, OB wouldn't let him! But there was only one thing faster than skies...

Only one thing was faster than skiing...

The electric slide!
Phoenixocracy

The one true Xeodent








Since: 01-08-10
From: Xeomerica

Since last post: 1717 days
Last activity: 1717 days
Posted on 09-15-10 03:30 PM Link | Quote
Oh, OB may have been faster, but BJ was a better dancer.

As OB approached with his electrifying dance moves, BJ dropped to the ground spinning in a break dance that would sweep the feet out from under OB.

For reals.
Lord Vulkas Mormonus

Vile
High Xeodent of Xeomerica.








Since: 10-29-04
From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way

Since last post: 115 days
Last activity: 115 days
Posted on 09-15-10 03:32 PM Link | Quote
A near fatal move...OB had almost nothing...except for a cotton eyed...Joe!

spinning a lasso over his head, OB just from one foot to the other, tossing the lasso over BJ's neck!
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