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03-28-24 01:15 PM
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Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - Can best friends ruin a relationship when this happens.... | |
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Bitmap

#1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt








Since: 09-05-04
From: His Laughin' Place

Since last post: 4318 days
Last activity: 4312 days
Posted on 06-22-05 11:03 AM Link | Quote
About a month ago, I got in contact with a friend whom i havent seen in 2 years, however i grew up with him, his name shall be remained anonomous.

Well, for the past month or so weve been hanging out and playing videogames like we used to do while weve been growing up, him playing RPG's and me reading the textbox to him because he couldent read very good yet. But now hes 16, reading like theres no tomorrow, better at videogames, and constantly trying to impress me. But then about 4 days ago, I found out that he loved me, not as a brother, but love between partners...and he wasnt joking, he hugged me and asked for a reply...

My whole body was shaking, I diddnt want love to ruin a best-friends relationship, ive gone through those times way to much over love, but to make matters worse, hes a guy, and he loves me...

Not only do i feel awkward, but i dont want to lose a best-friend, weve spent 9 years growing up together, and i dont want love to stop from there, I wanted to go to high-school with the man, but now that he loves me, i just dont feel confortable talking to him anymore.

I told him that I diddnt find attraction to males or females anymore, I just dont know why, maybe its because i have suck a fucking big heart and I care too much about other people. Im sick and tierd of love getting between friendships, because it just ruins it, then its lost forever, itll never be the same again thanks to FUCKING LOVE!!!!

This is the 2nd time this week someone has told me that they loved me, and ONE of them right now dosent take a FUCKING clue that I dont like her and she needs to give me space, shes one of those naive` types. She dumped her ex B/F only to go out with me because im older and better looking...Ugh i hate those types of fucking women!!!!

Well, I havent talked to him in a while now, i dont know what to do, ive cried, prayed, hell i even done some damage to my neibghorhood to let off some steem. Im just tierd of love ruining relationships, I really dont know what to say to him the next time i see him again..

oh and btw, this is not funny, so if you want to make jokes about it, fine, say it to my face in real life if you think its fucking funny! I already had 3 people laugh at this "oh, a guy falling in love with you, haha". And to me, if I found it funny, i'd be one fucking idiot, and those who laughes at this are those fucking idiots....


(Last edited by Sajin Gorotto on 06-22-05 02:09 PM)
Jin

Posting Pig
Not Dead








Since: 01-12-05
From: Nowhere

Since last post: 2442 days
Last activity: 2302 days
Posted on 06-22-05 11:26 AM Link | Quote
Just be up front and honest.

Tell him you're flattered and you love him as a friend. But you're not into guys and can't return the affection but you still want to be his friend.

Just be his friend, I'm sure this is a very hard situation for him too.
Bitmap

#1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt








Since: 09-05-04
From: His Laughin' Place

Since last post: 4318 days
Last activity: 4312 days
Posted on 06-22-05 11:40 AM Link | Quote
Well, what if he still has feelings for me? It still would feel awkward, he would be heart broken, start being mad at me for no apparent reason, then all hell would break loose. And right now, i seriously dont want that, I wish things would be like the way they used to...
Jin

Posting Pig
Not Dead








Since: 01-12-05
From: Nowhere

Since last post: 2442 days
Last activity: 2302 days
Posted on 06-22-05 12:19 PM Link | Quote
If he truly loves you, he'll understand..

I mean, Just because he has feelings for you doesn't mean he's not your friend anymore.
Bitmap

#1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt








Since: 09-05-04
From: His Laughin' Place

Since last post: 4318 days
Last activity: 4312 days
Posted on 06-22-05 12:21 PM Link | Quote
Your right on certan occasions, but itll haunt my memory the fact that my few best friends loved me.....

I dont know, im not scared for life, its just it scares me that the fact on what to say to him the next time we hang out. "Sorry man, i just dont like you..." I mean to me, everything i think of to say to him now sounds rude...ugh, i dont understand...
Broken Dreams

Thief








Since: 05-29-05
From: California

Since last post: 6387 days
Last activity: 6387 days
Posted on 06-22-05 03:51 PM Link | Quote
Honesty is never being rude, lying is what is rude. Be honest to him how you feel and tell him what you said " this feels awkward I still want to be your friend but this is hard for me" maybe you should take a week to not talk to him then go back to talking to him and act like nothing happened, just don't think about it, don't let the love ruin your life if you care enough for this person you will still talk to them, no matter what they did or said, true friends always stick together. Love does ruin friendships I agree but if people's friendship was strong enough I don't see anything wrong with you still caring about them as buddys.
Bitmap

#1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt








Since: 09-05-04
From: His Laughin' Place

Since last post: 4318 days
Last activity: 4312 days
Posted on 06-22-05 04:10 PM Link | Quote
Thanks Sara, that was just he right thing i needed. Ima just leave him alone for a week, then try to make amends when things calm down...
Broken Dreams

Thief








Since: 05-29-05
From: California

Since last post: 6387 days
Last activity: 6387 days
Posted on 06-22-05 04:19 PM Link | Quote
your welcome, I know it's not the best advice and sounds kinda werid like it's not the right thing but sometimes people need breaks.
True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 2663 days
Last activity: 2648 days
Posted on 06-22-05 07:28 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Sajin Gorotto
Well, what if he still has feelings for me? It still would feel awkward, he would be heart broken, start being mad at me for no apparent reason, then all hell would break loose. And right now, i seriously dont want that, I wish things would be like the way they used to...


You know I had an old friend. She told me that girls are more understanding of being just friends. well that's lesbians though. *sighs* I have no clue about gay guys. They might be the same. You know. Just say I'm going to be your friend.

When you say stuff like that in the BEGINNING it's more understandable.
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 73 days
Last activity: 73 days
Posted on 06-22-05 10:44 PM Link | Quote
Well, I think that he would understand that you just didn't like him that way if you told him. It must have been very hard for him to say that to you, especially given the circumstances. When you do talk to him, let him down gently... be honest, and do it like you would want to have it done to you if you told someone you loved them and they didn't feel the same.

I'm sure that he'll get over it and things will be good again.
Xeios

You WANKER!








Since: 08-16-04

Since last post: 4835 days
Last activity: 1145 days
Posted on 06-23-05 05:00 PM Link | Quote
Be as honest wiht him as you can. Tell him that you just would like to be friends. That you do not think of him that way. Also, let him know that you support his lifestyle, and be there for him, no matter what he chooses to do. That's the mark of a true friend, and its one of the few ways you can actually keep him as a friend without him thinking you are afraid that he is homosexual.

Who knows, maybe(not trying to say that you are gay, but maybe) you will feel the same way about him later in life.
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