New link in the top of page "IRC Chat".
Register | Login
Views: 122556689
Main | Memberlist | Active users | Calendar | Last Posts | IRC Chat | Online users
Ranks | FAQ | XPW | Stats | Color Chart | Photo album
03-29-24 08:15 AM
0 users currently in Story Realm.
Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - Will Not Fix | |
Next newer thread | Next older thread
User Post
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 696 days
Last activity: 696 days
Posted on 06-06-06 04:48 AM Link | Quote
[ Content Removed ]


(Last edited by Stitch on 11-01-09 08:37 PM)
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 74 days
Last activity: 74 days
Posted on 06-08-06 01:40 AM Link | Quote
Ah, the stories of disgruntled workers are always fun to read. How long will this story be?
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 696 days
Last activity: 696 days
Posted on 06-09-06 04:32 AM Link | Quote
[ Content Removed ]


(Last edited by Stitch on 11-01-09 08:38 PM)
Spartan

Metal battleaxe
Is back. Kind of.








Since: 11-15-04

Since last post: 2091 days
Last activity: 1332 days
Posted on 06-09-06 04:51 AM Link | Quote
Heh...I like were this is going...
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 696 days
Last activity: 696 days
Posted on 06-13-06 03:33 AM Link | Quote
[ Content Removed ]


(Last edited by Stitch on 11-01-09 08:38 PM)
Makura









Since: 01-22-05
From: The restaurant at the end of the universe....

Since last post: 5649 days
Last activity: 4914 days
Posted on 06-13-06 04:17 PM Link | Quote
I didn't get to read in as great detail as I thought so i don't have much in the way of constructive criticism. The beginning does kind of seem like you don't quite know how it's going to end, but you said you'd probably re-write it. I like your characters a lot and their personalities come out in their actions, which is so difficult to master. Keep writing I think you could really perfect this.
Spartan

Metal battleaxe
Is back. Kind of.








Since: 11-15-04

Since last post: 2091 days
Last activity: 1332 days
Posted on 06-14-06 11:15 AM Link | Quote
Cross reminds me of someone....Cant place a name on him...


Well Lee sounds good so far I will go over it again.


Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 74 days
Last activity: 74 days
Posted on 06-15-06 04:48 AM Link | Quote
Well I caught this after the chapter 3 edit, so I don't know what you took out. Other than that I think that it's doing pretty good. Though I notice that you've made the main character very much like yourself... again. Might want to work on that a bit in the future.
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 696 days
Last activity: 696 days
Posted on 06-15-06 03:20 PM Link | Quote
No, that was the point. Cross is supposed to be like me. I just changed his name. Eventually, I'll change Anthony, Mikey and Joe. I just leave that as is so I know who I'm writing about. These are, after all, my actual ex-coworkers at Activision. I just used another coworker's lastname and changed my name. So, Cross is me. We did have a reject table. And day crew did get something that was better than the night and graveyard shifts. Only difference is, we didn't actually do anything that harsh to day crew.


Chapter Four -- Screen Capture

Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 74 days
Last activity: 74 days
Posted on 06-16-06 03:36 PM Link | Quote
Ah, I see... well now at least I know which company this one was. For a bit I though you were setting it at your current job. But yes, do continue.
Captain Jack Sparrow

Newcomer








Since: 12-15-04
From: Inside my head

Since last post: 6421 days
Last activity: 6421 days
Posted on 06-17-06 04:57 AM Link | Quote
I didn't have time to read the whole thing, but I read the first chapter. It needs a little work in the wording of the first chapter because it's a little difficult to follow which character is doing what. Maybe you should try just concentrating on Cross and writing from his perspective--in a third person omniscient way--instead of trying to do the omnipresent/omniscient view of all four characters.

Or, just try a better rewrite. Good story so far. I promise to read the rest. ^-^ *hugs*
go soshi
Newcomer








Since: 12-29-07
From: Cali

Since last post: 5934 days
Last activity: 5886 days
Posted on 12-29-07 06:15 PM Link | Quote
yo lee...
big up on the story...it brings back good memories of activision...

the name is tight too...the main character having my last name n all...

keep em up, im starting on howard now.

stop by my myspace sometime and check my new music out
http://www.myspace.com/gososhi
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 696 days
Last activity: 696 days
Posted on 11-16-09 04:30 AM Link | Quote
I'm entering a revised version of this story for NaNoWriMo 2009, so I've tentatively removed it from here. It is available on Smashwords if you're interested.
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 74 days
Last activity: 74 days
Posted on 11-23-09 06:04 PM Link | Quote
How goes the revising?
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 696 days
Last activity: 696 days
Posted on 11-29-09 02:24 PM Link | Quote
A little better. Chapter seven will probably be chapter two after I finish NaNo (it's wonderfully descriptive), but I'm still way behind goal on NaNo itself. I've got two days to write 35,000 words. I think I can do it, but most of that will probably be scrapped, or I'll never touch Final Regression again. Doesn't matter to me, I like Juice a lot more.

It's still up on Smashwords, though. Link is in the last post from me
Next newer thread | Next older thread
Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - Will Not Fix |



xeogaming.org

AcmlmBoard 1.92++ r4 Baseline
?2000-2013 Acmlm, Emuz, Blades, Xkeeper, DarkSlaya*, Lord Alexandor*
*Unofficial Updates
Page rendered in 0.184 seconds.
0.037