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| Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - Compitition Entry: Caine. |
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Lord Vulkas Mormonus Vile High Xeodent of Xeomerica.          Since: 10-29-04 From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way Since last post: 191 days Last activity: 174 days |
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| Brom Gathor prepared his gun. He was after a mercenary who called himself Caine. A murderer, one who had taken from Brom more than most people could ever comprehend.
Around him was a forest, the facility only a few meters off. There were supposedly cameras all around it, but he had only found and deactivated two. The gun was ready. He swung around the tree he was hiding behind, already in a crouch. Stepping forward, he aimed at the facility’s doors, where there were two guards, both of whom died after Gathor fired two shots. Gathor moved inside, and used a small periscope to look for any cameras. There was one. He fired a precise shot with an attachment to his gun, stillframing the camera, making it only show one picture of the hallway. There was a ninety degree turn in the hallway. It was unlikely that there would be a guard around the turn, as a mere hallway was hardly necessary to guard. Even so, he peered around the corner quickly. There were two doors and four guards. One of them shouted out just as he jerked back. Immediately Gathor rolled forward. He lost the advantage of surprise, but he would make up for it. He quickly turned, and fired his gun twice. One of the guards was thrown back, dead, but his other shot missed. The guard had his own gun out by this time, and fired. Suddenly alarms went off everywhere. The surprise was permanently lost now. Gathor fired at the guard again, killing him. There were still two guards left. Gathor quickly twisted back behind the corner, and put his gun back into a holster, pulling out a weapon the wasn’t silenced, an automatic rifle. He turned around the corner again, but the two guards were gone. He wasn’t surprised, they wouldn’t just stand out in the open, waiting to be shot. He moved down the hall, along the wall, and suddenly stopped. There was a camera pointed towards him. He ran to one of the doors and attempted to open it. Locked. He pulled out his pistol again, putting his assault rifle on his back, and fired two shots at the door handle, hoping to break the lock. Gathor rammed himself into the door, and it slammed open, with six guards pointing guns at him. “Don’t move and we won’t shoot.” One of the guards calmly said. An officer, if his uniform was any indication, “just put the gun down.” Gathor slowly lowered his gun, leaned over, and dropped it onto the ground. Suddenly, still leaning over, he reached up to his assault rifle, and pulled the trigger, spinning his body as he went along. When Gathor stopped shooting and looked up, he saw the bodies of several of the guards, but not all six. Three had gotten away. A voice yelled out, “put down your gun, now!” so the officer was still alive, Gathor picked up his pistol and looked around. A gun pointed at him from over the shelf. For the first time Gathor got a chance to examine the room with a quick sweep of his eyes. This was a supply room, with multiple shelves of metallic storing containers, and a metal door on the opposite side. It appeared to be well protected, with no visible lock, or handle for that matter. It was a pressure reinforced door then. “You have until I reach three.” said the officer, “one.” Gathor pointed toward the shelf. “Two.” Gathor aimed carefully, and squeezed his finger on the trigger. “Three.” The officer said, and fired at nearly the same time as Gathor. Gathor was knocked back suddenly, and an electric shock was sent through him. He collapsed, and lost all thought. _________________ He awoke, and tried to lift himself up, but failed. His entire body was tied with several metallic cables, good cables too if they were flexible enough to tie knots in. There was a desk in front of him, and beside it was a man whom Gathor recognized, the murderer, his target. “Good day Gathor.” Caine said. “I am curious as to how you got here, but your arrival saves me much trouble. I need a test subject, and you would be a working one. After all, finishing off the family completely would be ideal.” Gathor reached for his tied wrists A knife should be there, but it seemed that he was already disarmed. “We have plans to inject you with a certain DNA alteration, which was what this entire facility was designed for.” Caine continued, “It will attempt to increase your bone strength, muscle mass, and skin toughness. However, there are many side effects. Namely, it will alter with your nervous system, causing you to be in a constant state of pain. We have attempted to fix this since the last subject, but I doubt we have succeeded.” He pulled out a needle and walked forward. Gathor thought quickly, pulled back his legs, and kicked Caine in the stomach. Caine doubled over, and dropped the needle. Gathor attempted to roll, and successfully sent the table which he was on crashing to the ground with the legs breaking off. Gathor pushed himself up, and the cables came off the table. He was tied, but no longer helpless. He charged towards Caine, and head butted him. Gathor then reached over, and grabbed the needle behind his back with his hands. Jumping, he pulled his arms out in front of him, and jabbed the needle into Caine, injecting it all the way in. Caine looked at him, but was knocked in the head. Gathor looked at Caine’s belt, and observed a gun which he quickly pulled out and aimed. “I am going to leave this place.” Gathor said, and pulled a picture out of his pocket. “This was my wife. You killed her while she was working from home.” He pulled out another, “This was my son.” He explained, “He was in the same room, and you shot him after his mother was killed.” Tears were in heis eyes now, and another picture was shown, this one of two children. “These heard the noise and ran into her office. You didn’t just shoot them, you killed them with your bare hands. I can think of no worse punishement for what you did than your own injection.” “How did you find me?” Caine asked quietly. “I was very careful, an untraceable trail. I know that.” “She worked in politics, and I knew who would want her dead.” Gathor said, “I found him, and after months of interrogation, he gave in, and told us who you were. It was simply a matter of following a trail after that. A trail leading to here.” Gathor picked up the gun, and slapped Caine on the side of the head with it. “Goodbye. You are destined to a lifetime of pain, and with that, I am satisfied.” The end. According to Elara, then this story can slide with length if it's no more than 500 words over, I reached only 1183 over, but I find that every detail I put in is completely neccesary, for story, and for effect. (Last edited by Vulcanlogic on 08-09-06 07:21 PM) |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 95 days Last activity: 95 days |
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Judges results, each area out of 10:
Originally posted by venomouslobster Originally posted by Zabuza Originally posted by Elara (Last edited by Elara on 08-17-06 09:14 PM) |
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Lord Vulkas Mormonus Vile High Xeodent of Xeomerica. Since: 10-29-04 From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way Since last post: 191 days Last activity: 174 days |
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| You'll find that I don't really disagree with this all that much, except for Zbuza's rating.
My original story ending I think was better, with more character, and the two main characters switching roles. I'll write a more full version of this story later on, one which concentrates on more character than action. |
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