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| Xeogaming Forums - - Posts by Rogue |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance        Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| I'm kind of shaken, at the moment. Nothing crazy has happened to me, but my friend group is kind of going through some shit.
My husband is in a metal band; he's been in it since 2004. It renamed itself and became what it is now around 2006. There've been a few changes here and there, the bass player knocking up his girlfriend and moving away, the lead guitarists leaving or getting fired a few times over the years. Anyway, it's always been Brandon and this couple who are the lead singer and the drummer. They've been together nearly 30 years and today they announced their separation. They run a business together. They have a house, a dog (they were militantly child-free), and we've always known them as "Marty and Becky." You rarely got one without the other. They were GOALS. I don't quite know what went wrong or how it all seems to be happening so fast. Marty accidentally updated the band's online calendar to read that he was meeting with a divorce lawyer tomorrow. At the same time, the bass player and her husband just separated and are divorcing after something like 20 years together. They got married 9 years ago. Again, not entirely sure why they're separating, though we're all pretty certain that whatever it is, it was his fault. I don't know.. So many people in our circle are in these committed relationships for years before they get married. Mary and Becky were together for 8 or 9 years and have been married for 19. The current lead guitarist has been with his girlfriend for around 16 years. Brandon and I have been together 15 years, going on 16 in April as we got married last year. It's not like this has any baring on my own relationship, but yeah it makes me go, "What the hell happened?!" Ironically Bran and I were watching "Marriage Story" this morning while nursing our flus in bed. It's one of the many Adam Driver films out this fall/winter, this one his character is going through a bloody separation/divorce. It's pretty depressing, especially when you wonder things like how could it all fall apart when things seem to be going well? (Spoiler: they throw in that he has a one-off affair with a co-worker. But I have to wonder if the rest would have been enough to leave someone over and throw your child's life into upheaval?) I'm not sure if I'm waxing philosophic or what. It's just that I watched Marty and Becky for my entire adult life. I can't believe what they had is over. It's not my business, I know, but if I said this didn't rock me to my core, I'd be lying. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| Been sick for much of this week, but it hit hard enough to finally keep me home the last couple days. I still went out to do a four-hour shift at the park, but my head was throbbing and felt so freaking heavy and then I was coughing all night. They wouldn't let me go home early since we were so short-staffed.
(Last edited by Rogue on 12-12-19 10:29 PM) |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| Went and saw Rise of Skywalker. I have mixed feelings. I mostly liked it, but I'm also going through some depression. Fun stuff. | |||
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| Yep, watched "The Witcher" as well a couple weeks back. I liked it, and bummer about the long wait. Par for the course these days, what with "Rick and Morty" only pumping out new seasons a couple years between.
Started watching "Letterkenny" on Hulu. It has its moments. Kind of a live action Canadian "King of the Hill." |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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Binge-watched the "Watchmen" series HBO put out. It was OK. I was a huge fan of the graphic novel and I actually liked the movie Snyder did (obviously it's VERY flawed  ), but the show was like watching fan fiction. Decent fan fiction, but I kept going, "Is Alan Moore OK with these plot points? Eh, most likely not." |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| Bran and I voted for Warren, because well... in a primary you vote for your love. In an election, you vote for your life.
I'm not pleased with how two major candidates dropped out and endorsed Biden before Super Tuesday, thus throwing away the votes of those who came to the centers early. Sigh... Well, Blue no matter who, I guess. As for Bloomberg, I'm more annoyed that he scored the second most votes in my state. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| The fucking news is ridiculous. And I'm going crazy from anxiety attacks left and right.
I'm more worried that if I did end up getting anything, it would spread to my mom, who's over 70 and with a compromised immune system.  |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| Definitely. Today, in particular. Everything's shutting down and my FB feed is ENTIRELY about it.
Good freaking god. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| I know it's pretty much all most people are talking about, but how are you doing?
I'm honestly terrified. I wasn't a week ago, but I am now. I'm worried for my parents. Mom is 73, she's had cancer off and on for years, just had knee replacement surgeries, and she's had breathing problems lately. and Dad is 69 and has diabetes and stubbornness that everything's always fucking fine. Good god, I keep having to harp on him to wash his hands and not cook bad meat. So I'm at home, for now. One job is allowing me to stay home this week and still get paid for half the day. The other job is paying me for the shifts I was scheduled, but they're shut down for the rest of the month. I went out to a couple markets yesterday: a Japanese one that was full of people in full head gas masks and a regular super market. It was all panic-buying and people running around, buying EVERYTHING. The frozen food section was even just stuff ripped apart. It was extremely unsettling. Doesn't help that people here have also been panic-buying guns. Anyway, Brandon and I went out to Arizona this past weekend. We were supposed to be there for four days, going to the renaissance faire. We got out there and I'd already been second-guessing it all, but the hotel room was non-refundable, so we figured we'd play it by ear. The room was disgusting, we got another one which was serviceable, but still terrible. We checked out in the morning and went home, stopping through a couple places, but now we're observing social distancing. (Last edited by Rogue on 03-19-20 11:13 AM) |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| I haven't left the house in three weeks. I started counseling and I'm most of the first week through my anti-anxiety medication.
I hope everyone's safe and healthy. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| I'm sorry, boss man.
One of my jobs in furloughing us starting next Sunday. Understandable, it's A LOT of employees. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| Something of an update, I suppose.
Still home with my family. I've been furloughed by both jobs and still haven't received unemployment due to that being a mess with my name change in limbo (COVID strikes again.) I'm a few months through therapy and medication, and I feel like I've at least had progress and that I'm actually healing after all these years of suffering with anxiety and depression. This quarantine gave me the priceless opportunity to pause and address my waning mental health. Something I couldn't have done before, what with my two jobs and therapy and doctors only being available when I would have been at work at my full time job that has NO VACATION TIME available. I hope everyone's still safe and well. These are REALLY crazy times. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| Glad to hear you at least HAVE restrictions. Shit, this place is going to hell real quick.
They opened Downtown Disney in Anaheim and Walt Disney World is open over in Florida, but once everyone's in, it seems like a free-for-all. Masks off, no social distancing, people crowding EVERYWHERE. I'm still furloughed, and other than occasional money woes, I'm fine. We're having everything delivered and not going out for anything other than my parents taking walks. I haven't been more than a block from my house in nearly four months. Sorry you're feeling claustrophobic. I combated this myself by making my space as comfortable as possible, splurging on things off Etsy and FB groups for renaissance faire vendors. I've got all the coffee and throw pillows and rainbow socks I could want, I guess. I've got all this art hanging up and I'm tending to plants I also bought online. After that, I'm diving into watching films and TV shows, streaming them and buying them off Prime. My life is just all about finding distractions, as my therapist recommends. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| I'm so sorry, Xeo. I hope there's been some good fortune of some sort this past month.
Jesus, do I ever feel crying in the shower. I lost my shit when my mom was out talking with a neighbor at close range because they asked if they could have some of Mom's flowers from her garden and Mom didn't want to be un-neighborly. This was a week ago and I'm still on edge. I cried for 20 minutes, full fucking sobs, took a shower and then had to message my therapist. Avoided my mom for days. Still furloughed from both jobs. The $600/week unemployment dried up last month, so now it's pure, naked unemployment which is SHIT. It's how much I get paid at my part-time job, which is absolutely horrendous to live solely on and still being asked to pay for my own insurance at the full-time. Been attempting to clean our room and closet for months. Finally got the closet all straightened, but the room went to shit again with all the stuff that needs sorting. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| Ever since I started therapy and medication, I've been watching the shit out of horror films. I'd avoided that genre almost entirely my whole life and suddenly I'm all gung-ho for movies that would have made me shit my pants.
Since quarantine has started I've watched: The Amityville Horror original The Appearance As Above So Below Bitten (Jason Mewes movie, more funny than scary) The Blair Witch Project The Bloodsucker Leads the Dance Candyman Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh Carnival of Souls C.H.U.D. Child's Play original Children of the Corn The Conjuring The Conjuring 2 Crimson Peak Cronos Cub (Belgian film in French and Flemish) Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba (All of the anime series that is currently out) Doctor Sleep (The sequel to The Shining, which I've seen) Don't Breathe Embrace of the Vampire (Not scary at all, just really bad) The Exorcist Friday the 13th Fright Night (1985) Fright Night (2011) A Good Marriage (Stephen King story, not really scary at all) Green Room The Haunting (This was legitimately what I would have considered the scariest movie I'd ever seen in high school. It terrified the shit out of me and gave me nightmares for years. So when I watched it again recently, for the first time in 20 years, my god it was so easy to laugh my ass off at how bad it is. A demon defeated.) Hellraiser Hereditary House of 1,000 Corpses (Seen it before, but not since it came out 😊) Insidious Invasion of the Body Snatchers It Chapter 2 (Had seen part 1 before quarantine) It Comes At Night It Follows Let Me In Let The Right One In (Swedish) The Lighthouse The Little Stranger Lo The Lodgers The Mandela Effect Marrowbone Mermaid: Lake of the Dead (Russian) Midsommar Misery A Nightmare on Elm Street The Nun Odd Thomas Opera Orphan The Others Paranormal Activity Pet Sematary Pet Sematary remake Poltergeist The Purge Queen of the Damned A Quiet Place Rabid Ready or Not Rubber Rosemary’s Baby Salem's Lot Saw Shark Exorcist (Just don't ...) Sinister Slice (Definitely more comedy than horror) The Stuff Therapy for a Vampire (Austrian. More funny than scary) Thirst (Korean) Tusk Twilight Zone (Season 1 of the Jordan Peele reboot) The VelociPastor Winchester The VVitch Wrinkles the Clown |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| If we're talking last movie in a theater, for me it was "Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker," and I only saw it the once (as opposed to TLJ, which I saw in theaters like 6 or 7 times. )
Still on the horror train. Ended up starting a subscription for Shudder. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| Fuck the remarkable amount of stupid going on in this country. Fuck that people are killing essential workers because they've been ASKING customers to obey the rules for everyone's sake.
Jesus fucking Christ, can we all just follow the scientific advice so we can get this shit over with already? Fuck all of this. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| Since quarantine has given me some time, I've been reading a lot and ordering the books through Bookshop.org to support independent stores (because fuck Amazon.)
Since starting lockdown, I've read: - "Seducing and Killing Nazis: Hannie, Truus and Freddie: Dutch Resistance Heroines of WWII" by. Sophie Poldermans - "Voodoo in New Orleans" by. Robert Tallant - "The Lost Diary Of Count Von Cosel" by. Carl Von Cosel and David L Sloan IV - "Heimskringla" by Snorri Sturlusson - "The Pirate Lafitte and the Battle of New Orleans" by Robert Tallant - "Medical Apartheid: The Dark History of Medical Experimentation on Black Americans from Colonial Times to the Present" by. Harriet A. Washington - "Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs" by. Caitlin Doughty - "Fangs" by. Sarah Andersen And right now I'm working my way through "Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI" by David Grann and "Boxcar Bertha: An Autobiography." |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| Oh, Rogue from 2019. How naive you were then.
So this year has taken a dump on everyone, some more than others. I've started therapy and medication for all my mental shit, and even though I've had the occasional breakdowns, it's been fine. The real work is in the exposure therapy I'm putting myself through. Baby steps. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 795 days Last activity: 604 days |
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| That's pretty much what I was thinking. Seemed like with every celebrity death of 2016, everyone became more and more despondent and blaming the year number for all of the world's ills.
2020 is just a number. It has been a shit year, but it's been a shitty few years, if we're being honest. This one just chose to wreck EVERYONE'S good time. Unless they're making money off the suffering and enjoying it, in which case fuck them. *Shrug* |
| Xeogaming Forums - - Posts by Rogue |
